My Little Wailing Wall

Bigots don’t know how to do the logics

I got the “you’re being judgmental by calling me a homophobe” line three times today.

No, sorry. That’s not how oppression works.

You chose to comment on my Facebook status about calling my friends to action as LGBT allies. If you really felt the need to say something negative about equality instead of just quietly removing yourself from my friend list, then you deserve any judgement you think I passed.

[Response to Ian’s] Links

gaychristian:

Hey Ian. 

I read those links/articles that you sent me, and I can best sum this reading by saying, I knew that…(That’s coming across pretty bitchy, I don’t mean it that way.) I saw that homosexuals and bisexuals experience greater levels of psychological distress, but it seems the juries out as to what that is actually a result of. Is it due to their sexual preference? Is it due to the prevalence of drug use within the homosexual community? Is it due to societal anxiety? It’s probably a combination. But what I see in all of this is a group of people who are hurting. I see statistics that validate my perspective that homosexuality can be very harmful (not that I base my arguments on this). I see no validation that I should live my life that way. 

I understand that homosexuals can have ‘loving’ relationships, ‘better’ relationships than heterosexuals, etc. That’s never been in debate in my mind. What I have seen within the homosexual community is also an undercurrent of filth, excess sexuality, drug use, hurt, prostitution, sickness, loneliness, etc. But then, you’ll find some of these to lesser, or greater degrees, in the lives of heterosexuals…It’s simply not something that I can allow to affect my relationship with God, because our relationship isn’t based on the experiences of others. My relationship is based on his word, and my sound belief that it doesn’t permit homosexuality. 

I have seen people, heterosexual people, leave the church for a life of enjoyment in the arms of their sexual counterpart. I have seen heterosexual people enjoy the excesses of alcohol, and drug use. I see heterosexual people enjoy television and movies which glorify sin. What I see in all of this is that sometimes your psychological condition does ‘improve’ when you sin, from the world’s perspective. Sometimes it does plunge into depression. And to be honest, that’s what I see largely within the LGBT community, a variety of experience. A variety of experience that cannot be used to validate living life in a certain manner.

~~~

No worries, I understand you might have already known some of the info I’d sent you. But I wasn’t sure if you did based on some seemingly under-educated assumptions you’d made previously, with all due respect. So I sought to provide you peer reviewed 

I see that you make the connotation of the LGBT Community with the orgiastic nature that is prevalent within it. However, that same culture can be said to both be over-played by those who’d persecute it and (while it certainly exists) it is only one aspect of it. And that very same culture, as you yourself admit in your last paragraph, is just as pervasive in heterosexuality!

And you also note that “filth, excess sexuality, drug use, hurt, prostitution, sickness, loneliness” are pervasive in the homosexual community. Well, psychologists and medical doctors believe it is often rejection by churches [x] and families that leads to the depression and psychological distress which leads to the careless sex in seeking for the love they were denied and venereal disease that comes from it.

Then again, you have people like myself, my writers, and others who stick to monogamy, go to Christian Churches and often have no problem with delving into excess with their sexuality. Our sexuality works just like a heterosexual one. There are the exact same temptations (with sex, alcoholism, and unsatisfactory relationships) and there is no difference in our lifestyles (and there are many different kinds within both sexualities to that). Both heterosexuals and homosexuals have to mature and control their desires.

I understand that your life experience has been wildly unfortunate (an understatement, I know) in terms of being your being homosexual and how that has played out in your life. But it would be less than Christlike to assume that all those who accept their sexuality is too also accept accept all the foul vices that are connoted to it and thus advocate it. I don’t. Side-A Christians don’t. It’s unfair to assume that homosexuals are special in this.

I hope this discussion has helped provided some clarity for you!

God Bless

-Ian

“What I have seen within the homosexual community is also an undercurrent of filth, excess sexuality, drug use, hurt, prostitution, sickness, loneliness, etc.”

I’m going to stop you right there for a second. Where exactly did you make these winning observations? At orgies? At gay bars? At the houses of people you knew who used drugs or were otherwise self-harming?

If I judged all heterosexual men by their behaviors at straight bars, it would go something like this: “What I have seen within the heterosexual community is also an undercurrent of filth, excess sexuality, drug use, hurt, prostitution, sickness, loneliness, etc.”

Sound familiar? That’s because LGBT people do not have a monopoly on various kinds of self destruction/questionable behaviors. Do you think these things don’t exist outside of the LGBT community?

What you have “seen” fits what you want to believe, so you don’t look any further. I would like to invite you to spend a day observing my gay lifestyle. I will show you the animals I care for and the children’s music class I teach. Then I’ll let you sit there while I practice piano and write music for a few hours. After that, I’ll make you a delicious vegetarian meal with local produce.

Nowhere in there will you find alcohol (I don’t drink), drug use (no thanks), prostitutes/excess sexuality (I’m in a long-term, monogamous relationship), sickness (we’re all very healthy… not even caffeine passes my lips!), or loneliness.

I think maybe you need to “observe” some real gay lives and get your ideas from somewhere other than TV and seedy bars. People from all walks of life make bad decisions in times of need, but I can assure you that this is not indicative of MY community.

Please educate yourself before you go around speaking poorly of my friends and family.

(And educate yourself outside of a bar, where you know you’ll see what you want to see.)

Fuck Marriage.

whatisntfunny:

Before I say this, let me be clear about a couple things: I’m gay. I really like boys. So, that is a true fact about me.

I believe in a penis vagina marriage. What does this mean you ask? I believe that marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman.

You’re thinking: “What the fuck?”

Let me explain.

Marriage is a union, before God, which was created by religion. Also, marriage is not a human right, it’s a religious right. Love is a human right. Now, having said that, I want to explain some things so that you guys don’t rip me a new ass hole. ‘

First of all, why the fuck would you want to be apart of something when you don’t even believe in It? I’m assuming you’re not religious. And I’m not saying that it should be only gays who don’t get to married, it should be all people who aren’t religious. Straight people included. Second, why the fuck would you want to be apart of something that clearly doesn’t want you. Are you trying to fit in? Religious people, Christians, Muslims, Jews, they don’t want anything to do with us, so fuck them, we shouldn’t want anything to do with them. Third, let’s be honest, what does the word “marriage” really mean? It’s a hollow word that straight people have destroyed. There’s a 52% divorce rate in this country. It means nothing and then you become part of a statistic.

You wanna know what I want? I want my partner to be able to share my health insurance with me. I want my partner to be able to take care of my kids if something happens to me. I don’t give a shit about a title, I don’t want the word, I want the benefits that straight people get. I want to be equal under the law. The word marriage means nothing, because heterosexuals have made it mean nothing. I want what comes with the word marriage.

Do you understand what I’m saying? Reply back to me!

The problem is that some of us are religious—deeply religious—and even come from gay affirming religious communities in which we would like to be married.

I don’t want to be married in a church, synagogue, or temple that doesn’t accept me for who I am, but there are many, many places of worship that do accept me for who I am and believe my love is just as real and precious as the love of any straight person.

Trust me, I’m not forcing myself into some horrible institution. I am by no means your typical “religious” person. You see, for me being a “deeply religious” person doesn’t mean following any particular book literally or accepting doctrine or even attending services regularly. Religion for me is (and has always been) a connection with people on a very basic level and a deep spiritual appreciation for a higher power.

In my city alone, there are 15 publicly gay-affirming places of worship that regularly advertise in our local gay publications and attend pride events. There are multiple churches, a couple synagogues, and a Buddhist group that come and celebrate every June at the parade in San Antonio.

Religion does fit into the lives of some LGBT people. I very much want a religious marriage—but more importantly, I want a marriage recognized by the federal government that affords me the same rights and protections given to heterosexual couples. And I want my future children to be safe in custody of their two fathers and never have to worry about the validity of their fathers’ marriage.

You don’t have to want to get married. It’s not for everybody. But I do want to be married—and I do want to have a religious interfaith ceremony. Our desires are compatible. We need to fight for our rights.

bonapartejournal:

I remember when I was in 7th grader I used to cut so much. I still have the scars till this day. I tried to Take my life. And now that I’m older I’m 16, I’m a junior in highschool, I want to start again because I’m so fucking down. No one I can talk to, no that listens that’s why. I practically have no friends, no real friends. I guess right now that I’m still young I still have hope, but what if things never workout? What if I end up a lonely middle aged gay man with no family, husband, or children?

You don’t have asks enabled, but please, if you need to talk, message me. I can talk to you WHENEVER you need. You don’t know me, but I will be your friend. I have been where you are right now… please let me help if you need someone to listen.

I will be checking my inbox obsessively, so just message me and I will get back to you. I will even give you my phone number if you message me if you need it. I’m serious. We can text it out if you want.

Otherwise, there are literally thousands upon thousands of people here on Tumblr who I know are willing to talk to you and be your friend. PLEASE SEEK THEM OUT.

You are loved by strangers. You are loved by people who have no idea who you are just because you are you!

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