My Little Wailing Wall

Bigots don’t know how to do the logics

I got the “you’re being judgmental by calling me a homophobe” line three times today.

No, sorry. That’s not how oppression works.

You chose to comment on my Facebook status about calling my friends to action as LGBT allies. If you really felt the need to say something negative about equality instead of just quietly removing yourself from my friend list, then you deserve any judgement you think I passed.

[Response to Ian’s] Links

gaychristian:

Hey Ian. 

I read those links/articles that you sent me, and I can best sum this reading by saying, I knew that…(That’s coming across pretty bitchy, I don’t mean it that way.) I saw that homosexuals and bisexuals experience greater levels of psychological distress, but it seems the juries out as to what that is actually a result of. Is it due to their sexual preference? Is it due to the prevalence of drug use within the homosexual community? Is it due to societal anxiety? It’s probably a combination. But what I see in all of this is a group of people who are hurting. I see statistics that validate my perspective that homosexuality can be very harmful (not that I base my arguments on this). I see no validation that I should live my life that way. 

I understand that homosexuals can have ‘loving’ relationships, ‘better’ relationships than heterosexuals, etc. That’s never been in debate in my mind. What I have seen within the homosexual community is also an undercurrent of filth, excess sexuality, drug use, hurt, prostitution, sickness, loneliness, etc. But then, you’ll find some of these to lesser, or greater degrees, in the lives of heterosexuals…It’s simply not something that I can allow to affect my relationship with God, because our relationship isn’t based on the experiences of others. My relationship is based on his word, and my sound belief that it doesn’t permit homosexuality. 

I have seen people, heterosexual people, leave the church for a life of enjoyment in the arms of their sexual counterpart. I have seen heterosexual people enjoy the excesses of alcohol, and drug use. I see heterosexual people enjoy television and movies which glorify sin. What I see in all of this is that sometimes your psychological condition does ‘improve’ when you sin, from the world’s perspective. Sometimes it does plunge into depression. And to be honest, that’s what I see largely within the LGBT community, a variety of experience. A variety of experience that cannot be used to validate living life in a certain manner.

~~~

No worries, I understand you might have already known some of the info I’d sent you. But I wasn’t sure if you did based on some seemingly under-educated assumptions you’d made previously, with all due respect. So I sought to provide you peer reviewed 

I see that you make the connotation of the LGBT Community with the orgiastic nature that is prevalent within it. However, that same culture can be said to both be over-played by those who’d persecute it and (while it certainly exists) it is only one aspect of it. And that very same culture, as you yourself admit in your last paragraph, is just as pervasive in heterosexuality!

And you also note that “filth, excess sexuality, drug use, hurt, prostitution, sickness, loneliness” are pervasive in the homosexual community. Well, psychologists and medical doctors believe it is often rejection by churches [x] and families that leads to the depression and psychological distress which leads to the careless sex in seeking for the love they were denied and venereal disease that comes from it.

Then again, you have people like myself, my writers, and others who stick to monogamy, go to Christian Churches and often have no problem with delving into excess with their sexuality. Our sexuality works just like a heterosexual one. There are the exact same temptations (with sex, alcoholism, and unsatisfactory relationships) and there is no difference in our lifestyles (and there are many different kinds within both sexualities to that). Both heterosexuals and homosexuals have to mature and control their desires.

I understand that your life experience has been wildly unfortunate (an understatement, I know) in terms of being your being homosexual and how that has played out in your life. But it would be less than Christlike to assume that all those who accept their sexuality is too also accept accept all the foul vices that are connoted to it and thus advocate it. I don’t. Side-A Christians don’t. It’s unfair to assume that homosexuals are special in this.

I hope this discussion has helped provided some clarity for you!

God Bless

-Ian

“What I have seen within the homosexual community is also an undercurrent of filth, excess sexuality, drug use, hurt, prostitution, sickness, loneliness, etc.”

I’m going to stop you right there for a second. Where exactly did you make these winning observations? At orgies? At gay bars? At the houses of people you knew who used drugs or were otherwise self-harming?

If I judged all heterosexual men by their behaviors at straight bars, it would go something like this: “What I have seen within the heterosexual community is also an undercurrent of filth, excess sexuality, drug use, hurt, prostitution, sickness, loneliness, etc.”

Sound familiar? That’s because LGBT people do not have a monopoly on various kinds of self destruction/questionable behaviors. Do you think these things don’t exist outside of the LGBT community?

What you have “seen” fits what you want to believe, so you don’t look any further. I would like to invite you to spend a day observing my gay lifestyle. I will show you the animals I care for and the children’s music class I teach. Then I’ll let you sit there while I practice piano and write music for a few hours. After that, I’ll make you a delicious vegetarian meal with local produce.

Nowhere in there will you find alcohol (I don’t drink), drug use (no thanks), prostitutes/excess sexuality (I’m in a long-term, monogamous relationship), sickness (we’re all very healthy… not even caffeine passes my lips!), or loneliness.

I think maybe you need to “observe” some real gay lives and get your ideas from somewhere other than TV and seedy bars. People from all walks of life make bad decisions in times of need, but I can assure you that this is not indicative of MY community.

Please educate yourself before you go around speaking poorly of my friends and family.

(And educate yourself outside of a bar, where you know you’ll see what you want to see.)

This piece of filth just ruined my day.

http://roseverbena.tumblr.com/

(That Tumblr contains many, many, many posts of disgusting transphobia)

If I should ever happen to meet your transphobic ass in real life, you better hope I am in a good mood.

How dare you as a woman—as you say, a member of an oppressed group—vilify “non-natural born” women?

You are a disgusting person.

The women I know (cis and trans) are real women because they love and protect and understand each other. Actually, that’s true for the men (cis and trans) I know as well.

You are not defined by what genitals you have now or by the genitals with which you were born. You are defined by your soul and I hope you find yours.

Two beautiful LGBT things that made me cry today.

1. The much-anticipated song and video by The L Project called “It Does Get Better.” It is amazing. So much talent in this song and (obviously) a beautiful message. Watch the video and share it with everyone you know! (Then buy the song on iTunes—proceeds go to LGBT charities and anti-bullying campaigns!)
2. A blog post by Huffington Post blogger Amelia called, “When Your 7-Year-Old Son Announces, ‘I’m gay’” She has written in the past about her son’s obsession with Darren Criss’s Glee character, Blaine. Her posts are always beautifully poignant, and this one does not disappoint.

Enjoy these. Spread the love.